Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Silence

There's a sunset in my mind today. Not the sunset stolen by Sukab, and sent in a letter to his beloved Alina*. Not the kind of sunset beautifully portrayed by famous artists on their canvases. No, it just a twilight sunset across the city, when the sun shrouded its light, before slowly, duck itself into the horizon.

A sunset carries thousands of feeling in its presence. It's loaded enough to blast an explosion of emotion, either joy or pain. Some might not like sunset because the gloomy, sad mood, but some might love the romantic-beautiful sunset 'cause they filled with lots of joy. But I love sunset for both reason. Yes, I love spending my sunsets in gloomy mood, enjoying the pain getting to my bones. Yes, I love spending sunsets in its beauty, feeling the romantic atmosphere possessing my soul. And yes, no other thing can match those feelings.

This sunset, I can't really tell, which feeling is in me... There have been so many things happening around here. I've been in another position lately, so my shooting days are over, for now. No more of those rumbling and chaotic days. I kinda miss them, though. It's fun to do some challenging jobs, doing something that can be seen on the screen. But sometimes, things just getting so messed up, and the effort to make it alright was consuming my mind and body, another taste of it could lead me to hospital treatment, mental or medical. So here I am, doing another job, dealing more with non-living things, and paperworks. Kinda boring, but maybe, just maybe, I need the break. Plus, I could use the spare time more (hopefully) productively. So instead of making tv shows, I end up watching them more, because there is a tv in a room where I work. The gossip show, the news, drama, movie, or even the new hip series. I watch those affair gossips, the crime, the crisis, cheezy religious-wannabe drama, violence, even several desperate housewifes. It's too much information, I say. So when I looked outside the window, saw the reddish sky, I didn't know what should I feel: sad, angry, concerned, suffocated, obnoxious, or amused but confused?

I just stood there, with the all of the feelings, and the sun was going down. Slowly, the feelings are fading away, leaving an empty atmosphere in me. Just silence...until the sun went down, leaving the face of darkly night.

Sometimes, I think, we need a moment of silence. Leave out anything, just to enjoy a moment passes by, slap yourself (in a veeeeery soft way) and saying, "Hey, I'm still alive!".

Just another foolosophy though ;)


(*)"Sepotong Senja Untuk Pacarku", Seno Gumira Ajidarma

1 comment:

Lulu Ch said...

subhanAlloh...
walhamdulillah...
wallohuAkbar !!!