Friday, August 08, 2008

Musafir

Langkah sang musafir lusuh
menapaki jalanan berdebu
tertatih menanggung lesu
tinggalkan jejak yang pilu

Dahulu kau penggosok berlian
jimat penghias sang saudagar
alas, hanyalah angan
arang belum layak menjadi berlian

Dan lorong gelap lah sahabatmu
di mana anganmu tersungkur
terduduk, jiwamu terkubur
hingga tertolong masa lalu

Ke mana hendak kau tandu beban itu Bung?
jiwamu meradang menghunus kesumat
Apakah Aku tak ada lagi dalam dirimu?
dan kau biarkan asa itu lumat

Di sana lah sang musafir berjalan
mendekap sebentuk angan
permata hidup yang kau tempa
dari serpihan arang yang tersisa

Menuju ufuk yang tak tentu...

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Changing Lanes

It has been a long time since my last post, which was after the birth of my son. I have to admit, things have change since then, a lot. It was a new excitement to have a baby in the house, I dwell myself into it, for a while. Kind of a child's newfound joy of his new toy (well every man has a boy inside, don't they ;) ). I always have this obsession of having those days documented, so I can cherish the early days of his presence in the family --I even took many pictures for every events that I thought would be somewhat peculiar experience--but, it never materialized. All of those moments just passed by without me getting it to be written, shame on me...

Truth is, I can't manage to get them written, part of being very busy between work and excitement when I got home, and part of being lazy. Hell yeah, blame me :P . That's why I posted about the birth of my son at a late moment. The other reason is, I need internet connection to post my blog article, which I didn't have those days, except for the connection at work. Since at work I was very busy, as I get a new job post and had to do a lot of adjustment and re-arranging new work flow, chances were thin that I got my self writing my blog at work.
Actually, I am not exactly an instant writer, who can start to write every time he/she got an idea and wrote it on a piece of paper napkins if they have to. I really need to sit in front of a computer (yes, a computer, papers or traditional notebooks don't work for me), getting my thought to focus, and started to write when the mood is built. So time, place, and mood are important to me, neither one of them is missing, nothing would happen.

Unfortunately, things at work was not getting better. It was getting heavy more, and more, through the year. Not that it would get me down already, I was having the highest motivation on that year, since the baby came and new recruited people had helped me to see some improvements. But the biggest blow was yet to come. The last quarter of the year was just the butcher of every improvements and efforts that we done. I could see my work for the last 8 month since I was on the job, just gone to oblivion. Vanished. Nothing that I can do about that, but to persevere. Nobody wants to be the garbage man, but somebody got to do it, right? There I was, with some help (well, not much, exactly), trying to make out something out of the rumbles of our work. It was the hard time, at the beginning of the fasting month with the highest heat recorded, ever, doing a lot of hands-on labor. We made it, for some points. Some were salvaged, and some were not.

At the end of that year, we can raise our head with some pride, knowing we had made the best out of the worst. Alas, yet the best wasn't good enough...

The aftermath hadn't exactly completely healed yet, other storm coming our way... This time it took more than our work, but our co workers. Those people are more than just workmates, they were my comrades in struggles within this blasted company we worked for. They were, practically, my family before my own. Well, decision were made, actions were taken, we knew that even the company take benefit of them, the would return the favor by backstabbing us....These are office politics, where no such thing as eternal enemies (or even eternal allies), but eternal interests. So much for idealism, vision or mission, that they said. We knew it was all bullshit the first day we walked in on this territory. We just didn't know when it would smack us right in the face...

Enough IS enough. I went on, and I went out. Took the first best offer, I'm hitching another train, hoping for the next best thing. Regretfully, this action could only be done only after almost four years, since my first effort to bailed myself out. Waisted almost five years, I have to admit, I experienced a lot, almost all A to Z in my artistic field. I've done everything, from small Electronic Field Production setups, up to wide screen motion pictures production process. But I also realized that I was not experiencing the best production team, and producing the best end product ever. I specially realized that I learn from mistakes and mischiefs. If you are talking about THE bloopers and oops of this industry, I can say that I experienced ALL of them, hahahaha....

Thus this made me know the evil of this industry. The tricks and gimmicks they pulled, in effort to crank their ratings. Reality show? You should called it un-reality show. That's garbage from the beginning. I always pitied people who get tied to those reality show series. I can tell that most of those show were faked (reconstructed from original stories), or even damn-straight pure lies. Come on people, don't mock your own intelligence! The only near-to honest shows are music shows. At least they give you something to see (or hear) that is real, with not much tricks.

Enough of them, now I'm trying to do something more decent. Decent enough for my family, decent enough for my future. Hoping that this would open many, many doors of opportunity to a good destiny... amen.